Night of the Over-Enthusiastic Park Ranger - or - The Big Squeeze

After Glacier, we headed for the Black Hills.  For anyone that's been to South Dakota before, you know that, coming from West to East, the Black Hills (and also Wall Drug 60-100 miles from there) are must-stops.  Why are they must stops?  Well, because they are the last things you come to for about 300 miles.  Yeah, so if you don't stop there you're basically going to be stopping in little towns that look like they somehow sprang spontaneously out of a hay field in the 1950's and then proceeded to stay there indefinitiely.  Doc and I did the logical thing and figured that 3 days in said paradise pre-hay fields would be enough to gear up for a marathon thru the rest of the state.  We ended up staying at Wind Cave National Park, and it was the first visit to that NP for either of us.  Also recommending camping there, because you are just south of Custer State Park (the largest state park in the US) and it was $12 a night even in peak season!  Pretty sweet digs after staying in a bunch of National Forest campsites... they even had flushing toilets and drinkable water!  That probably excites very few people, but there's only so much smelly pit john that A. Broad can take before she longs for the sweet sound of water rocketing down a u-bend.  You think I jest?  Anyway, our first day we decided to take a hike thru the cave (ranger-led, of course) and were pretty blown away by how gorgeous it was.  We were not blown away by our guide, who smiled WAY too much and didn't seem to know much about caves other than her semi-scripted spiel.  The cave itself was pretty cool (as you will hopefully agree after seeing pictures) but only took a few hours, which gave us plenty of time to go to Custer to feed the semi-wild burros (notice that I refrained from making a joke about wild Ass).  Now, the park systems usually tell you not to feed wildlife, and Doc and I do not advocate walking around with a steak in your pocket to feed the bears or tossing live mice at rattlesnakes; THESE animals are only semi-wild.  They were initially released by 49-ers who no longer needed them, and then there was a second release later of donkeys from a trail ride outfit.  So they are used to being fed.  In grand tradition, Doc and I bought a bag of carrots to feed and had a lovely time, until they got too forward and started sticking their heads in thru the car windows... not cool, guys!  We did expect that, since it happens every time, but we took it as our cue to leave and go do something else.  We then went to the National Museum of Woodcarving, which we do not advocate visiting.  It was kind of cool, but not really what we expected and not worth $9 each.  Just an FYI.  The next day we went to Mammoth Site at Hot Springs, SD to see the 59 male Mammoths that were dumb enough to fall into the same pit and get stuck.  That's right, no females.  Enough said.  In all seriousness though, it was pretty neat to see.  Kind of wish it hadn't been tour-led, because we probably would have seen more, but beggars can't be choosers.  After that, we went to some rock shops and bought some nice Pipestone to try to carve.  So far, the only evidence of my carving is some rounded corners on my block.... We finished our day at Jewel Cave National Monument, taking what was supposed to be a moderately difficult, gas lantern-lit tour that incorporated history.  Instead, the over-enthusiastic ranger (please, someone get this guy some ritalin or a tranquilizer dart!) decided to ask the kids in the group (who were, by the way, NOT carrying hot gas lanterns, they were carrying a modified lantern flashlight!) if they wanted to take the easy route where they would see the cool parts of the cave that were still growing with crystals and such, or if they wanted to take the "adventure" route that saw a dead part of the cave, pretty much skipped the history, and involved crawling on the ground and the adults ducking at the waist.  You can see where this is headed, no?  Stupid kids.  Seriously, their votes should have counted as less than half of an adult vote seeing as how they were neither carrying something hot and metallic nor needing to do the duck walk.  Doc and I struggled a little more than we had been expecting from our "moderate" hike, but we both passed the test with flying colors and only 1 pain pill between the two of us!  Who took it, you may ask.... but a lady never tells.  So yesterday we stopped at Wall Drug on our way out and got as far as Mitchell (home of the corn palace!).  Today is my birthday, so we are meandering on and doing some antiquing.  May God have mercy on my wallet. ;)