Night of the Over-Enthusiastic Park Ranger - or - The Big Squeeze

After Glacier, we headed for the Black Hills.  For anyone that's been to South Dakota before, you know that, coming from West to East, the Black Hills (and also Wall Drug 60-100 miles from there) are must-stops.  Why are they must stops?  Well, because they are the last things you come to for about 300 miles.  Yeah, so if you don't stop there you're basically going to be stopping in little towns that look like they somehow sprang spontaneously out of a hay field in the 1950's and then proceeded to stay there indefinitiely.  Doc and I did the logical thing and figured that 3 days in said paradise pre-hay fields would be enough to gear up for a marathon thru the rest of the state.  We ended up staying at Wind Cave National Park, and it was the first visit to that NP for either of us.  Also recommending camping there, because you are just south of Custer State Park (the largest state park in the US) and it was $12 a night even in peak season!  Pretty sweet digs after staying in a bunch of National Forest campsites... they even had flushing toilets and drinkable water!  That probably excites very few people, but there's only so much smelly pit john that A. Broad can take before she longs for the sweet sound of water rocketing down a u-bend.  You think I jest?  Anyway, our first day we decided to take a hike thru the cave (ranger-led, of course) and were pretty blown away by how gorgeous it was.  We were not blown away by our guide, who smiled WAY too much and didn't seem to know much about caves other than her semi-scripted spiel.  The cave itself was pretty cool (as you will hopefully agree after seeing pictures) but only took a few hours, which gave us plenty of time to go to Custer to feed the semi-wild burros (notice that I refrained from making a joke about wild Ass).  Now, the park systems usually tell you not to feed wildlife, and Doc and I do not advocate walking around with a steak in your pocket to feed the bears or tossing live mice at rattlesnakes; THESE animals are only semi-wild.  They were initially released by 49-ers who no longer needed them, and then there was a second release later of donkeys from a trail ride outfit.  So they are used to being fed.  In grand tradition, Doc and I bought a bag of carrots to feed and had a lovely time, until they got too forward and started sticking their heads in thru the car windows... not cool, guys!  We did expect that, since it happens every time, but we took it as our cue to leave and go do something else.  We then went to the National Museum of Woodcarving, which we do not advocate visiting.  It was kind of cool, but not really what we expected and not worth $9 each.  Just an FYI.  The next day we went to Mammoth Site at Hot Springs, SD to see the 59 male Mammoths that were dumb enough to fall into the same pit and get stuck.  That's right, no females.  Enough said.  In all seriousness though, it was pretty neat to see.  Kind of wish it hadn't been tour-led, because we probably would have seen more, but beggars can't be choosers.  After that, we went to some rock shops and bought some nice Pipestone to try to carve.  So far, the only evidence of my carving is some rounded corners on my block.... We finished our day at Jewel Cave National Monument, taking what was supposed to be a moderately difficult, gas lantern-lit tour that incorporated history.  Instead, the over-enthusiastic ranger (please, someone get this guy some ritalin or a tranquilizer dart!) decided to ask the kids in the group (who were, by the way, NOT carrying hot gas lanterns, they were carrying a modified lantern flashlight!) if they wanted to take the easy route where they would see the cool parts of the cave that were still growing with crystals and such, or if they wanted to take the "adventure" route that saw a dead part of the cave, pretty much skipped the history, and involved crawling on the ground and the adults ducking at the waist.  You can see where this is headed, no?  Stupid kids.  Seriously, their votes should have counted as less than half of an adult vote seeing as how they were neither carrying something hot and metallic nor needing to do the duck walk.  Doc and I struggled a little more than we had been expecting from our "moderate" hike, but we both passed the test with flying colors and only 1 pain pill between the two of us!  Who took it, you may ask.... but a lady never tells.  So yesterday we stopped at Wall Drug on our way out and got as far as Mitchell (home of the corn palace!).  Today is my birthday, so we are meandering on and doing some antiquing.  May God have mercy on my wallet. ;)

Lady Luck - She's Either With You Or Against You

It seems like a lot has happened since I last wrote, so I'm going to take the cop-out road and split it into two posts (it IS my birthday, so make a few allowances please).  The entire time Doc and I have been out (and really since we started planning 2 years ago) our ultimate plan has been to make Glacier National Park the last stop past the Continental Divide and start slowly making our way home.  The reason for this being that Glacier was the farthest North (the direction we were headed) and also meant to be one of the neatest stops.  After all, Doc had the privilege of going there before and was going to show Glacier off to me.  Well, as we started heading up from Phillipsburg we kept getting discouraging news from passersby: Going-to-the-Sun Rd. was not yet open.  For those of you who, like me, had no idea what the significance of that is: it is not only the ONLY road that cuts all the way thru Glacier Park, but it is also the crucial hinge upon which the Red Jammer circa 1930's open-air bus trips hinge (something that Doc was really hoping we could do as a day-long activity).  So we decided to do the logical thing and use the shuttle system the NP has set up that takes you to the point where they have finished clearing snow and turns you around to come back.  After such luck with the shuttle systems at both Bryce Canyon NP and Zion NP we were pretty confident that it would stop us at a few places and then we could catch the next shuttle that went a bit farther... or so we thought.  Turns out that the buses were only running every 30 minutes from the main hub and we arrived RIGHT AFTER one left!  No biggie, 30 minutes isn't too long... until someone informed us that we had to put our name on "the list" to even get onto a shuttle.  So we did... and found out we were the FIRST people on the list to NOT get on that shuttle.  So there went another half an hour.  By this point we are slightly tired of sitting on concrete benches at the bus stop, but our hopes were still high.  After all, I had been told over and over by people we encountered that Glacier is BEAUTIFUL.  I still hadn't seen it though, because we were in a forest that pretty much obscured the view.  Thus, the anticipation about actually SEEING something.  So we get on the bus and go halfway up, at which point they stop at a picnic grounds.  No big deal, we'll just keep riding to the top.  Here's the rub: the bus driver proclaimed that NO ONE could stay on the bus and that it was a mandatory stop.  Reason being that there was a line of over a hundred people at the top stop waiting to get on shuttles.  What you don't know is that all the shuttle buses only fit 12-15 passengers!  So we got off and waited for about thirty minutes to get on the next shuttle to go up, got to look around for fifteen minutes, and then got in the 150-person line to come back down... or so we thought.  Turns out the middle point stop (which supposedly had great hiking from it but was no treat to look at for those of us starting out in the late afternoon) was mandatory BOTH WAYS!  So we came back down after 45 minutes waiting at the top and waited another 30 at least to go back to the main hub.  Needless to say, first impressions are very important and I was not impressed.  After that ordeal, we decided for the first time since Mrs. Doc left us that a hotel and, more importantly, a shower, was in order.

Thankfully the next day redeemed Glacier for me.  We went to a less-traveled entrance on the opposite side of the park called Many Glaciers and enjoyed a lovely hike to Red Rock Falls.  We even saw a Grizzly Bear up on a ridge and a Mountain Goat.  Pretty nifty, and that's before we even got to the falls, which were also very pretty.  We camped that night at a private campground about 2 miles away called Duck Lake.  I'm going to go ahead and make that the must-stay spot if you're ever in the area.  The campsite was $20 and even though it was one of the busiest weekends of the year at the park there were only about 7 out of this campground's 30 sites filled.  Furthermore, we were less than 5 feet off the lake in our campsite and were far enough around it that we got to watch the sun set over Glacier on the other side.  Outstanding.  We did decide to make that the final night of our trip pre-turning to come home, but I promise there have been more worthwhile exploits that you should read about.  Are you ready for the punchline?  Okay... so Going-to-the-Sun Rd. opened THE DAY AFTER WE LEFT!  Can you believe it?  So I need to go back and get my Red Jammer on at some point.

Darling Clementines

Driving to ghost towns is usually tricky business and sometimes enough to turn you into a ghost - the longest one was about an hour long drive up a winding road that had both of us white-knuckled.  It even had a sign that said something like "Steeply winding narrow mountainous gravel road" which I thought sounded like the name of a bluegrass band.  After Cody, Wyo we ended up heading to Philipsburg, MT to check out a bunch of ghost towns in that area.  We ended up seeing about 5 ghost towns, but also Philipsburg had one of the most magical candy stores/factories I had ever seen.  They had 1,217 kinds of candy!  So amazing.  They gave out the most evilly delicious samples as well.  I could not believe how complete the ghost towns were.  I mean, there were still pieces of mining equipment and tools lying around.  One of the towns was Garnet, MT and it is one the National Register of Historic Places.  It's actually run by the Bureau of Land Management, and Doc and I were totally ignorant that they have their own park rangers.  Who knew?  They actually let you in all the buildings and even allow you to pick up all the artifacts, provided that you put them back when you're through.  I don't think I've ever been in a historic place that encourages me to touch stuff.  It was so great.  Who knew ghostly things could be so much fun?

 

And They Call The Thing Rodeo

We are in Cody, Wyo having a ball.  Went to the rodeo last night and saw some of the best bareback horsemanship and bull riding I've ever seen, bar none.  It was professional rodeo through the PRCA, so we knew it would be good, but we had no idea how good.  The highest scoring I've ever seen for a bull ride was a 92, and last night Doc and I watched a cowboy score a 94!  That is incredible.  Best ride I've ever seen.  Unfortunately the cowboy will be limpin' for a while, because the bull stepped on his knee while he dismounted (courteous way of saying fell off).  Incredible.  Or, as the announcer must have said a thousand times, "Outstanding!"

This morning we went to the parade, which is so popular it has a complete repeat performance tomorrow.  Pretty awesome parade, and it included things you don't get in Midwestern parades such as: a real mountain man, trains of trail mules, fiddle preservation society, Buffalo Bill impersonators, and saloon girls.  Also accompanied friends on a fishing trip.  They didn't catch anything, and I only caught a few photos of dragonflies.  Nonetheless, a very productive and enjoyable Sunday.  Short post, but just wanted to share some photos and wish everyone a happy Independence Day and many more in the future.  Our country may not be entirely perfect, and we may complain often about policies and politicians we don't care for, but this weekend we celebrate the fact that we have more personal liberties than most and that we have been able to enjoy them for a good long time.

Karma Is a Dish Best Served Cold

You may have heard that Revenge is the dish best served cold, but I'm here to tell you that you've been duped.  Karma.  All along it's been karma that's best served cold.  To begin this story, I take you way back... back to the days when I was sleeping in a real bed under a solid roof, a time when showers came more frequently than twice a week, a mythic time when Doc and A. Broad still had things left to talk about.  In those days, a friend said to me that I have perfect karma, and that, furthermore, I could probably cash in on that about anytime I felt like.  Now that you know the backstory, let's move forward to a time about four days ago.  The place, Grand Teton National Park.  After Doc and I arrived in the Tetons we set up camp, just like any other day, and I went on a search for firewood, also a common occurrence.  While I was hunting through the woods (and the fire grates of empty campsites... I'm an opportunist) I came upon a plastic moose toy half buried in the dirt.  I immediately brought it to Doc and told him that I thought it was a good omen, and that we should call him Herald, the Moose-cot.  "Perhaps," I said, "Herald can call us some moose.  After all, I've never seen one."  If I only knew then what I know now!  We decided that we would head into town and have a real meal in Jackson, WY, and that perhaps we would stop on the way home to look for moose (since they like the late evening).  We did indeed stop for a "moose jam" and get a peek at my first ever moose thru a kind man's spotting scope.  "Wouldn't it be funny," I said, "if we were looking at this moose long-range thru a spotting scope and there was a moose lying in our campsite?"  Doc agreed that it would be funny, but improbable.  Me and my big mouth.  Me and my stupid, perfect karma!  Why did I choose THAT moment to call upon all my stored up good deeds and ask for a little bit back?  It turns out that when we got back to our campsite there were a bunch of people gathered around looking at my tent.  Literally WHILE we were looking thru the spotting scope there had been a moose stomping her foot down on MY TENT and watching it bounce back up!  Apparently for about 20 minutes!  Luckily for me, nothing was damaged.  Unfortunately, she DID decide to lay down in our campsite (well, right behind it) and bed down for the night.  The National Park Service (in their infinite wisdom) decided that we were too much of a liability and decided they would move us (and our 30 closest neighbors) all the way across the campground to the farthest possible loop.  Nevermind that it was already getting dark, that our site was all set up for the night, or that we already had a fire going!  Now I can say that I've seen multiple moose, and my tent has one slightly bent pole to prove it.

Now to step back in time again before the Tetons.  While Doc and I were staying at Sinks Canyon SP in Lander, WY we managed to happen upon the Eastern Shoshone Indian Days Powwow.  Tons of fun, to be sure.  All the enjoyment of greasy fair food and sno cones mixed with an interesting cultural experience.  The dancing was phenomenal, and our favorite was probably either the dance for Indians 75+ or the Boot and Hat Special (which involved Indians decked out in a combo of traditional dancewear, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and various other Western items).  Very neat.  We also made a day trek to Thermopolis, WY, the largest mineral hot springs in the world (at least that's what they say and I don't know any better).  Believe it or not, Wyoming's parks are free, and that included their state mineral baths!  We were all ready to shell out the big bucks to take a hot soak, but it turned out to be free of charge.  Super cool.  The only drawback was that the sulfur springs left me smelling like a particularly ripe egg for about 48 hours.  Luckily we are outside most of the time.  Thermopolis also has a particularly active dinosaur bed, and of course we had to go and see their museum.  Doc geeked out (even to the point of having me take his picture!) when he saw one of only 7 specimens of archyopteryx in the world.  Even though I'm not a rock or dino nut, I had to admit that it was pretty darn cool.  They even had a 140 ft. long dino reconstructed in the museum!  So big!

Now we are in Yellowstone, which is of course one of the most beautiful places on the planet.  It is still my favorite National Park.  The waterfalls and rivers are all pumping water like you wouldn't believe, and some of the hot springs are particularly full right now.  Unfortunately, our former favorite, Mammoth, is pretty much dried up at the moment.  Doc reminded me that this is the most active geologic spot in the country, so they might even be flowing again tomorrow, or maybe never.  That's one of the great mysteries about this place.  The gorgeous hot spring that looks like it has rainbow mist coming over it is called Grand Prismatic.  So beautiful.  We may even go back today for another look.  Well, provided the predicted rain and hail hold off.  Tomorrow we head towards Cody for the stampede and to spend the 4th of July with friends.  Hopefully the next post will be pictures of decked-out cowboys and what we have been promised is the "real" 4th of July experience.